Women share 10 of the healthiest things they learned in therapy that proved life-changing

A positive outlook can change life. 

Hearing reassuring words is essential to healing our inner selves and carrying our lives forward on a better path. There are millions of people in this world who have not yet identified that they need therapy and the optimistic approach it brings to lead a happier life. Not prioritizing mental health can lead to piled-up emotions, which can completely make the world a hard place to live in. Therapists use positive reinforcement to get their patients out of any mental health issues and ensure that the patient's lifestyle changes in such a way that they're not affected by the negative situations in life. That is the key purpose of seeking therapy and people have greatly benefited both mentally and physically from therapists' life lessons. Though the lessons may be simple, following them in reality requires great effort. When u/JJengaOrangeLeaf asked women on Reddit, "What was the healthiest thing you learned/were told in therapy?" the audience shared some golden advice that changed their perspective towards life for good. Here are the 10 healthiest things that women were told in therapies.

1. It's okay to rest

That when I need to rest, I should rest. I don't need to be productive every moment that I'm awake and sitting on the couch, watching TV is perfectly fine and that I shouldn't mentally punish myself when I'm doing it. u/Slight_Nail_5869. I grew up in a household like this and it still affects me to this day (early 30s). My son has helped me overcome this little by little. "Time enjoyed is not time wasted." So, I have to remind myself of this often so that I don't ruin my day by focusing on how I'm not being productive. u/Huffle420Puff

2. Changing your way of thinking

Thoughts are just thoughts - it doesn’t make them true. For example, ‘I’m fat’ is a thought, but it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s true. Changing the way you think, can change your behavior. For example, I don’t enjoy cooking (for a few reasons) but I used to. I’ve been telling myself 'I hate cooking' and so haven’t done anything to change it. But I have now changed my thoughts to 'I’m learning to enjoy cooking again' and it’s made a massive difference. You can’t control what others do and how it makes you feel. But you can control how you react to those feelings. u/tasteonmytongue

3. Be kind to yourself

If I wouldn’t speak to my loved ones that way, I shouldn’t speak that way to myself. And the younger me would be so sad to know how I’m talking to the adult me. u/BleuetsSun. I went to an event the other day and there was a fireside chat where one of the ladies suggested giving your inner critic a name. This kind of personalizes it and makes it easier to have a dialogue with it rather than just listening to this voice berate you. I've been trying it out and have been having some success. u/AnxiousBunnyRabbit

4. "No" to everything isn't okay

Saying no is okay, saying no to everything is not. I say no to a ton of things because I typically lack the bandwidth to match the energy of the situation and this behavior was isolating me badly over time. Now I don’t say no to things that I feel will enrich my life or the lives of the people I love. I tell myself to match the energy as best as I can and even if I falter a bit, at least I made an effort. u/skyedot94

5. You are good enough

That I am good enough. That you can’t make other people act differently, but you can choose to act differently yourself and this often leads to the other person changing. u/SmellNoEvil. Mine is similar, except "I'm not good enough" was answered with "Well, what is enough?" and boy, did that hit hard? I realized I had no idea what enough was, so how could I ever feel that way? It was really eye-opening. u/Substantial_Gate8698

6. There's no abandonment among adults

Adults can't abandon other adults. I am not obligated to stay for anyone for any reason. Everyone is responsible for their own lives. u/kitty_r My ex used his fear of abandonment as a manipulation tactic, citing it whenever I was upset at something he did so that I could turn around and console him. He even went so far as to say I was abandoning him when he cheated on me and didn’t want me to leave. Thankfully, that relationship ended. u/Suspicious_Ladder625

7. Do what you feel

I’m not sure about the healthiest but something I return to very often is “If you ever want to leave a situation and everything else fails, you still have two legs.” It’s simple but it actually helped me overcome a lot of anxieties around putting myself out there socially. Just knowing that if I put myself out there and I’m not enjoying my time, I never have to stay. I can just get up and walk out. u/BlueJuice_

8. You can have both

That it doesn’t always have to be this or that. I always struggled with whether I could either have a stable calm but boring and less successful life or I could have an exciting successful life. My therapist told me there’s no either or. Why couldn’t I just have both? I could be successful, happy and have an adventurous life with a stable committed partner. u/not_an_e_girl

9. Don't internalize criticisms

Other’s criticism of me is not a reflection of who I actually am. Some people just don’t like others or are going through their own struggles and take it out on others. That doesn’t mean that how they treat you, or what they say about you is true to your character. This could be as simple as a correction at work or being the black sheep in your family. u/Fantastic_Pear_7509. This thinking is helping me a lot with a superior at work. I'm starting to realize she must have her own demons she's dealing with (or avoiding) and I think that's why she's so critical sometimes. I don't have to internalize it as being about me. It's hard but I'm getting there! u/PaintedSwindle

10. Stop projecting your insecurities on others

That I need to stop projecting my insecurities on other people. For example, I’ve recently become extremely upset with how I look on the outside/my outer shell. I’ve worked for a very long time to learn to like who I am at my core despite the negative comments friends or people have made. But I have found myself assuming people don’t think I’m pretty, don’t want to be my friend because I’m not skinny, that my slight lazy eye is noticeable in conversations and people don’t like me for it. Absolute obsessive behavior. It’s something I’m trying to work on, but it’s going to take a while. u/goldenpretzels